Liquid Amethyst

Liquid Amethyst

i sit on the kitchen table,waiting for the kettle to boil,the faint hissing sound,as the tea leaves unfurl,acts as white noise to all the constant murmurs and screams in my ears.

the amethyst stones you gave me,to protect me from everything,act as blood for tea,slowly turning into burning fuschia stains,on my scalded hands.

i drink tea, whilst longing to drink poison,because we're thirsty,each sip accelerates my heart beat,slowly turning my heart bruised and purple,ready to burst into a million fragments,splashing liquid anxiety all over my freshly painted walls.

just like water, after love warms, it boils,the burns still ache my soul,and now weeds grow in my skeletons,in place of the flowers i planted.

as you lied on the hospital bed,a few years after our divorce,i realised,that maybe gold amd poison just can't mix.for i have always been a bunch of withered, uprooted weeds,to your blooming garden.i still remember the pain from those stitches they gave you,eighteen and a half stitches to your forehead,a thousand scars to my aching heart.

this isn't an apology,or even a eulogy,but when we buried you,the skies poured,they're tears falling from the sky, i said.for even the skies wept, as a beautiful flower withered away,for i wished i were driving the car that day,i wished for our garden to bloom into a meadow, not a graveyard of weeds,into a piece of you,not a piece of me.

-Amulya